Nerds and New Computers

Recently, I bought a new computer. With the help of a friend, I maximized my dollar by getting some of the best deals available. I watched in awe as he would effortlessly surf page after page after page, scouring for the products that had a high performance but relatively low price. The end result was a monster machine for a measly 1,500. Crysis on high? Pff... no problem (no problem = averaging 50 fps on high). Funny thing was, I think HE was more excited for the CPU to come than I was.
Anyway, the whole experience really made me appreciate the high degree of Nerd-fu my friend possesses. After considering how my friend and I Ooh'd and Ahh'd over the CPU once it arrived, I am still struck with how funny our actions were.

Thus, I've compiled a list of the top 5 things nerds tend to do when they encounter God's Greatest Gift to man: A New Computer.

5. Check the wiring & suggest outlandish, time-consuming ways to improve it.

I once watched as my nerd friend starting clawing at the latch to open up the system, muttering "no no no... its all wrong... the solenoid should wire under the flux-capacitor..." and then he's lost me.

4. Touch every button or turn every knob that can be found.

Power on, power off. CD tray eject, CD tray close. Fan's off... ok haha you're a funny guy... dude its getting hot... turn em back on!... *Punch*... Fan's on. (On a side note, nerds get the biggest kick out of turning all your fan's off and watching you freak when you finally notice you computer's temp is at 70 degrees C.

3. "Break in" the processor.

This is when the nerds run a program that will max out the processor, effectively "breaking it in" much like you would a new bike... 'cause computers are like bikes... yea, I don't get it either.

2. Call other nerds (of equal or greater nerdiness) to come and "check the new rig."

And it works too... draws them in like a moth to the flame.

1. Spend hours attempting to overclock every piece of attached hardware.

I had to slap the hand of my nerd friend who started trying to "overclock" my woman... they get carried away.